We all have them. Those Mommy moments that hurt. Today, it was Lauren climbing into the car in the pickup line, sobbing because she misses Daddy, who is traveling to Chicago. That is a routine occurrence any time he travels. They are so close, so I get it, but I also can’t help but feel inside that feeling of “so what am I? Lunch meat?” Funny, I know. But unfunny too. Even though I have three, and two of them are so very attached to me, I still can’t help but wonder why the third one (or second if you consider birth order), just doesn’t seem to feel the same way about me as the other two?
I, of course, know the answer. When the girls were born, Steve and I did the best we could, each of us taking one of the twins through the night, trying to “switch it up” over concern about bonding. But their schedules and demands got the best of us, and Lauren, being the most predictable and therefore “easier,” ended up being with Daddy through the night since he had limited time off and had to return to work sooner than I.
Well, for anyone who has questioned it, the bonding thing is REAL! To this day, Taylor (my nighttime infant snuggler) is glued to me like Gorilla Glue, and Lauren is a Daddy’s girl all…the…way!
And honestly, I’m happy for Steve and his relationship with Lauren – she loves him so very much and he is so wrapped around her little finger. It’s so precious, and I know that since Mommy gets most of the Littles’ lovin’, he treasures having his very own little sweetheart devoted all to him!
Then…after a long day of work and Steve traveling, I had the dinnertime blow. Meatballs and broccoli for dinner – not their favorite (the broccoli part of course). Add to that the girls’ tormenting of Colton during dinner – something the poor kid will probably have to live with his entire life – and the meltdown began. Sadly, it came out in the form of “I just want to move away and leave you all!”
Gaaaaaah!
Whaaaat? You want to leave MOMMY too? When asked about where he would go, he said, “China.” So then, playing along, I asked if he knew anything about China – to which he of course said, “no.” So next, he decided he was going to Germany. Then seemed perplexed when asked how he was to pay for the airfare and his housing once he arrived.
I know…childish, right? Still hurt my feelings. Wants to leave Mommy???
And to boot, made me wonder what the drama is going to be like when they reach the hormonal teenage years! Oh, boy! I can’t imagine any of them leaving here, even when all grown up and ready to go…can’t I just keep them little?
As much as the rational part of me understands this is normal, it still somehow makes me sad to think they have these little thoughts of their own that tell me someday they will be their own person and learn to live without me in every detail of their lives. But that’s being a mommy, right? I just wish the time between infancy and the kickoff of independence was longer…much longer!
Can anyone else relate? Please share!
Oh…and BTW…all is well in the Grant House…a temporary teary meltdown – now they are jump-roping together and snacking on Easter candy – loving Little buddies once again. Sweet dreams, everyone!